I’m more real than Jesus, so why wouldn’t you?!

Gag. So, I’ve been losing weight due to my lack of income. FINALLY! Being poor has done some good for me! It’s been a crazy-weird last two and a half months. Started the new year by ditching the possibility of something more with an old flame, to start a new flame with an unstable, fem, bottom, to just end up cheating on him with like 5 guys and get caught, break up with him 3 times in the course of one month and then continue to be a whore and sleep with the same old guys I keep on sleeping with for no good reason. THEN! I meet a nice guy and that’s all he is. He’s just a nice guy. I thought he liked me, then started to realize that he probably, most likely doesn’t. We don’t text, instant message, or facebook like we did before we met so I’m pretty sure that’s a big ass, “GET LOST”… This has happened to me many times. I look thinner in my photos and so when they see I’m a lot fuller in person they start to back away slowly. I miss the times when I used to be 178lbs and I could pick and choose who I wanted and who I could leave hanging dry. I guess this is a lesson in dating karma 101.

So, I have this friend, and he gives me things. He likes me a lot, and I don’t like him, not even a little…but I am still nice to the guy. I listen to him talk, I’m polite and sweet at all times, I let him molest me, and [Explicit] but I’m pretty sure I have made it clear that this was not a relationship or that we were never dating! The sick old guy comes over to my place, feeds me, fondles me, and watches a movie with me then tells me he’s in love with me and that he wants me to be with him “officially”, I wanted to hold my breath and make believe I just died, but I cant hold my breath long enough for him to get scared and run away. So, I freeze and stare at the wall. You would think he’d get the hint, right? -WRONG!

I dont think I can look this old guy in the face and tell him it’s never gonna happen, so I think I might just write him an e-mail. I know, I know, I’m a total asshole, but I’m gonna try and change that after I send the e-mail to him. He joked around and said he’d stalk me if I ever tell him to hit the road, but something tells me he isn’t kidding. I just have been so lucky when it comes to picking out psychos. So, if I die his name is Steven Salba and he rents a room somewhere on 191st in Washington Heights.